Christmas Alert!

Stop global warming now if you love Christmas! Reliable sources have claimed that Santa Clause might not have as much time delivering presents this year due to the fact that the North Pole is melting. The jolly old man and his elves are too busy fixing the leaks in their roof.

So douse that open fire that you are roasting your chestnuts on - they're releasing unprecedented amount of carbon dioxide. Instead of wrapping paper, just switch to the generic, brown recycled paper bags that they give out at Macy's. And last but not least, don't harbor those fugitive reindeer - their overgrazing is causing desertification and our loss of carbon sinks.

Any other ideas to save Christmas?