Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Mail time!

One thing I hate about being a grown-up is that opening mail is no longer fun anymore. Here's what I got today in the mail: electricity bill, gas bill, 2 bank statements, catalogs with coupons of "$50 off if you buy $250", and the never ending medical bills. The coolest thing I've ever received was a recipe from a loan-officer. I bet he has never even cooked once in his life.

The only saving grace is that I love reading the fine print on the back of credit card ads with bright orange signs that yell "You're prequalified!" I love chewing on the end of my black ball-point, expertly circling the areas where they could potentially scam me for a lot of money. It's sort of my way of showing them that even though I love the vivid colors, the bold fonts, and the sheen of the glossy ad, I'm not sold. At least not yet. (I'm still waiting for one that smells nice.)

Since my parents don't live here but have a lot of their mail sent to my house, I get to open their mail as well. My dad's mail is a lot more interesting. You know that you've arrived in the world when you get mail that tells you what a valuable member you are of a community that you don't even live in. He gets birthday cards from banks, opera ticket offers from clubs, and invites to luncheons at the Marriott School. Whoever says that there are no free lunches in this world just doesn't know my dad.

Oh yeah Dad, I forgot to tell you - you've got mail!

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