Maturity

Somebody told me tonight that being mature means that you know what you want.

And if it's hard? If it hurts? If you've done nothing about it because you've lacked courage?

Well either way, I aged tonight. Hopefully the maturity comes later as well.

Ms. Beef Noodles

If I was back in kindergarten and we were comparing sisters, then this would be my winning pitch:

My sister is better than your sister because she looks freaking gorgeous while eating a bowl of instant noodles.

Introducing Exhibit A: An ad for Sunrider beef noodles

p.s. I ripped this off an email that my BIL sent to my sister. I couldn't help but noticing that it was addressed to "Chelsea 'Your Love' Messick Chen." Ultimate cheese. Even worse than when they first got married.

Pilot: The Contact List Riot

If The Office did a China version, then an episode might look something like this:

The HR department releases yet another directory because of the many new hires. The upstairs office looks at it and riots.

The problem? The contact list isn't alphabetically arranged according to people's names.

This random decision made by a non-English speaking clerk gives rise to an overly dramatic speculation of hierarchical rankings and subtle "who's hot and who's not" messages hidden within the excel rows of phone numbers. Emotions run high. People memorize the order in which the names appear and quote them back and forth. Ha, we may be in the same pay grade but I'm really higher than you! He didn't perform as well last month so he got demoted to #26 on the list! This must be an HR conspiracy to sow distrust!

[Commercial break]

Staff members whisper back and forth during lunch. Oh did you hear? #12 is actually the HR director's second cousin twice removed! Bu hui ba? Oh yes, I saw him borrow her phone to make a call the other day  . . . they must be close.

#20 storms into the boss' office. A lot of table slapping ensues. Mr. 20 is offended by a bunch of stuff, one of which is that the boss' assistant is just a recent graduate but yet she's #2 on the list.

#23 no longer smiles at #2.

[Even longer commercial break]

There's another new hire. There's another new contact list.

It's not alphabetized. And the orders of the names switched again.


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Disclaimer: Any resemblance to real office life is just a big coincidence. Totally not based on my own personal experience from the last two weeks, which is a pity because the absolute truth is much more entertaining.